I know I haven’t posted anything in a while, but I will definitely try to do this every other day. Today, I was going through my iTunes and realized I didn’t have all of my Maroon 5 songs! (I’m seeing them in concert in 10 days with some friends!) I was upset to see that one of my top 5 songs of all time wasn’t there, “She Will Be Loved.” I don’t know why I love this song so much, but for some reason I think I can relate to it. I’ve had a few bad break-ups and broken hearts, and I feel that this song describes just that. It sums up everything I’ve been through, and the title says exactly what I want…to be loved. No, not just by friends and family, but a nice guy. A genuine, funny, smart, guy. This song gives me hope, hope that the guy I’m waiting for is coming soon. For all the readers, I am not a sad, depressed, lonely girl. I love being single, but sometimes I want more than that. So here is the song, and I hope you relate to it in some way like I do.
The past week has definitely been one of the worst I’ve had in a while. As you read earlier, I my brother’s best friend passed away. Unexpectedly, I might add. This week I had to say goodbye to my “little brother.” Let me just say that those three days were the saddest and worst days of my life. There was no way to prepare myself for it, how can you? What I can say is that I have never seen so much support and love for one person. I saw so many students, teachers, and old neighborhood friends walk into the funeral home to say goodbye and pay their respect to my hero. (Not to mention, some of the cutest and most popular girls from Kyle’s class came, and we all said “Kyle is going crazy right now looking down and seeing who is here for him.”) Kyle brought so many people back together for a few hours, and it was all for him. To me, that shows how inspiring and amazing he really was.
It was so hard to say goodbye, and to help with that, Kyle’s friends and myself wrote letters to him and kept them with him. It felt so good to write everything I was feeling down for him, and even if I forgot some things, I know he can hear my thoughts and watch over me anyway. It was a beautiful day and ceremony, and the most ultimate gift was having the University of Michigan’s football coach, Lloyd Carr attend Kyle’s funeral. Kyle met Lloyd Carr in the hospital at U of M, and they became good buddies. They exchanged numbers and kept in touch. Lloyd Carr was heartbroken when he heard about Kyle and said he would try his best to make it, and he did. To me, that was the perfect ending.
Now that the hardest part is over, it still doesn’t feel real. I should know by now, but it’s like I don’t want to believe it happened. I feel the worst for my brother, and to him it probably feels more real than ever. I know he will be okay, but it just makes me so upset knowing that his best friend isn’t here anymore. I would do anything to have him back, especially for my brother.
I know things will get better in time, but for right now it’s still tough. I can’t help that a picture, video, or wall post on Facebook makes me cry, and so many little things remind me of him. I guess it’s a good thing because I want to remember him each day, and I want him to know that I will never forget him or the memories we shared.
Most importantly, I am so so thankful for my friends and family this week. All of the “I’m sorry for your loss” and “I’m praying for you and your family” texts and messages mean the world to me. I don’t know what I could’ve done without them. I would also like to mention the amazing group of friends that Kyle and my brother have. I am so proud of them and their strength through the past few days. Their families,ours, and Kyle’s parents have become so close, and I feel like one huge family when we are all together. Again, I am so blessed to know these people, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
Yesterday, July 7th, I lost my “little brother” to Leukemia. He was my brother’s best friend, and I have known him for most of my life. From when he was a little boy to his first year of college. He was the kindest and most caring person I have ever met. He saw the good in every person, and looked passed the bad. Kyle spent the last 5 months in a hospital, and was able to leave twice to go home and visit his friends at school. He was undergoing chemotherapy and we were desperately looking for a bone marrow match. With the side effects, he was getting sicker and sicker. His immune system was getting worse, but his strength was inspiring. Even with the pain, Kyle made jokes and continued to laugh and smile. He was optimistic about getting better, and looked to God for help. Kyle was a sports guru. He knew every stat and every fact about football, basketball, and baseball. His dreams came true when he met U of M football players and coaches this year. Friends and family visited, and he looked forward to it every day. He loved his family and friends more than anything in the world. He still does. Through all this pain and heartache, Kyle was a fighter. He had the biggest and best support system anyone could ask for. A great person like him definitely deserved it. Even though I would give anything to have him here with us, I am happy that he is pain-free and no longer suffering. He is in a better place now, where he can be the healthy, young man he really is. He is looking over his friends, family, and everyone else that supported him in his fight. He is our angel who will forever be in our hearts through the good and the bad. I am blessed to have known such an inspiring and wonderful person all my life. We lost an amazing person, but we gained a beautiful angel. I will forever miss you and I love you with all my heart.